she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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