It's like God shit irony all over that family
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
