at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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