"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
This is my gift to your gina
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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