i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
