wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
