oh fat girl friday strikes again...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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