Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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