You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
