we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
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