Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
