Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
