her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
3pm strippers are depressing
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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