Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
