I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
