Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
