I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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