It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
