Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
