Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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