weddingsv make me drug and hornr
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
why do cheetos always look like penises
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
i out mim tonsoeep
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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