if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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