On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
