Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
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