It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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