i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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