Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
