I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
