Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Holy sore nipples Batman
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
