today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
