I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
