stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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