everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
