just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
You've changed since you got that strap on
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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