You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
