We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
