I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
