I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
