I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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