you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
