Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
