Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
