i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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