Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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