i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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