i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
