so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
