dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Four minutes until I can fart!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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