Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Who put my cat in the fridge?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
