Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
