I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
